Feburary 2011
Wicked recently attended her sister Bellinda's wedding with her girlfriend. Around their social circles, at least 6 couples got married and a few more (including Mulan) are having persudo-marriages (previous episode). The wedding was beautiful, well organised event and represented each of the individuals. Not the tacky text book weddings or worst, reality TV weddings.
Wicked recently attended her sister Bellinda's wedding with her girlfriend. Around their social circles, at least 6 couples got married and a few more (including Mulan) are having persudo-marriages (previous episode). The wedding was beautiful, well organised event and represented each of the individuals. Not the tacky text book weddings or worst, reality TV weddings.
As much as she appreciate attending weddings, Wicked don't feel like getting married or similar arrangements herself. At a wedding, she felt like attending an event, getting into her biggest and loudest outfits, had a good time socialising, genuinely feel happy for those whom got married, but as far as the idea of marriage, or what she'd call "extreme pair bond", she felt nothing. For many times she wanted to, she was hoping attending her own sister's wedding may wake up her bridal genes, given staying at Chrisyero's was not a walk in the park and him proposing her to live with him permanently not just didn't make her feel great, she actually SMS-ed the bitches saying she felt like she is in deep shit.
Caurora told her, maybe this is just not the way her life set out to be. For months Caurora been Wicked's private cheerleader of love, keep trying to pump optimisticism into her brain, explaining the bliss of her living with Caffine, how much their difference works for her, and how much his support gave her strength to develop herself; perhaps knowing Wicked for a very long time and seeing her being single for a long time, she wants her to give it the best shot, but all the bliss Caurora was describing, sounded more like blister to Wicked's ear.
Another time over coffee Wicked told RoAriel that when she is somehow feeling weird and unnatural out of the blue or something that she can not identify made her feel frustrated and depressed, there were plenty of talks and discussion between them, it seemed every time there was somehow a solution, but shortly after that feeling creeps out. Wicked told RoAriel about Caurora's cheerleading effort eventually became torture; Wicked thought that even Caurora sense that it is no longer working so she tries to be realistic about it.
To say or not to say, Mulan always try to let Wicked to make her own decision, just like how Wicked is open-mined about hers, because usually things work out on its own, and Wicked knows there're plenty of things Mulan wants to say to protect her, perhaps from herself. When the group no longer spending as much time together, everyone operating on their own way, the support net that Wicked once had is now weaken, she can no longer tell is it herself or is it him; he didn't do anything wrong, or is it the relationship itself afterall; it was getting less and less comfortable, she doesn't know if it was within herself or her surroundings, like an atomic bomb she suppressed and supressed.
Perhaps it would took all bitches' effort combined to prevent Wicked destroying herself. Maybe she needs the bitches to be less polite and give her an intervention of some sort, but Caurora and RoAriel always busy with their job(s); Mulan is preparing her move; John-asmine already moved, although they all made the effort to help Wicked, but sometime, the collaboration is yet to come...
How can someone cry out for help when she doesn't know what, why and how she is unhappy, uncomfortable nor unsettled? Sometime one needs to decide what to say or what not to say; but sometime, not knowing what to or not to say is harder than one can imagine.
