July 2011
Second place - Over the years I'd been put the 2nd or 3rd plenty of times, job search, project proposals, I always get complimented but just not being chosen, so over the years I learnt how to put myself first. And you're the only one whom put me first without question.
Facebook - when I saw your profile indirectly on facebook, I felt queasy, I knew you deleted me but the messages you sent me before shown your profile picture. I wonder if you're well, your profile pic says not - but whom's facebook profile really tell the 100% story?
IPod - songs I ripped off your computer reminded me of you. Not that I enjoyed the songs but I felt something in my stomach when I play them
Guilt - was it a pride to prove that I can love so I got into this relationship?
Tofu - everything taste like it - tasteless
bee-hive - when your name is mentioned, I felt like taking a bullet, and I felt like a bee-hive now.
confession - that I confused myself.
Tear - we made enough for each other already
2046 - I felt like the android that I cry much later than the event
mood - wouldn't need steroid or early menopause, my mood swings enough already
RoAriel - I sense that she is not keen on helping me thru my hard time, 3 years ago when my career hit a ditch she called me and make sure I'm ok. Now I hardly hear from her. I'm posting this hoping she will respond so I know we're still making effort for this friendship. But why can't I get some expression of support without having to ask for it?
Aging - Everything I thought I know, have to learn it all again.
cocktail - good for the mind, better for economy, bad for wallet
Throwing up - replaced crying eventually
Fools rushed in - we were
Friendship - I realise having a relationship made my friends shelving me into a different projection, and I didn't like it, then I started living a lie.
You overreact, so I trained myself to under-react, good news is my ability to endure is high, but when everything fall apart, it really felt apart...
Are you ok? I want to know.
