It has been a rough week: I had done a skill and resume auditing and found out I had quite a good skill set and also good experience and attitudes, somehow i'm in the second year of my career and i am still struggling- I am currently working on a probational period with a very strong opponent, one of us will be taking home the job and the other one will be looking for new job. I ask myself why - Why had I got myself somewhere that nobody appreciates me or I am required to performed a phoney competition ritual like a reality Tv show?
I was talking about my career.
It is true that when you sees a career is not working you will make a switch, or divert into a similar field for smart sake. But in a relationship, there is no place for smart sake, after an awful heartbreak, some gay men may take the extreme path of becoming something that they called "Ex-Gay".... It is all about fear, a fear to once again encounter a man who will never be faithful to you, and perhaps hooking up with an equally heartbroken woman to create a pesudo-family and teach the kids homophobic values, and live happily ever after.
Although you will be able to teach yourself to believe that you had finally found happily ever after, but something is missing, just like the people whom given up their dream and pursue a more convinient career, one day you will ask youself: had I really done enough to prove that my intitution was fucking me up?
Or you had just been haunted by a ghost inside your very own self?
